Who is served first at dinner

Service for a single hostess without a host. The lady of honor is seated at the end of the table opposite the hostess, and she is served first. The order of ser vice proceeds from the lady of honor counterclockwise. Because there is no host the hostess is served last. As the arrangement is not balanced with al ternate male-female seating, this form of service is rare.

Service for a single host without a hostess. A host without a hostess seats the lady of honor to his right. Alternating service for each course. The first course commences with the lady of honor and proceeds counterclockwise around the table. The second course starts with the lady seated to the left of the host and progresses clockwise. Each time the host is served last. To ensure that each course is served at the proper temperature, when more than six guests are seated at the table, duplicate and triplicate services are presented simultaneously.

Duplicate service. The lady of honor is served first, and the guest seated directly opposite her to the left of the host receives duplicate service. The remaining guests are served in the order of progression counterclockwise on the right side of the table, clockwise on the left , regardless of gender.

The host and hostess are served last. Alternatively, duplicate service begins with the lady of honor and the lady seated diagonally opposite her at the other end of the table. Triplicate service. When the ladies are served first, triplicate service begins with the lady of honor and two ladies seated equidistant from her.

If service is in the order of progression, triplicate service begins with the lady of honor and the guests seated one-third the distance from her, regardless of gender. A multi-course meal takes time to prepare, serve, and clear, an interval that prompts leisurely dining and promotes good conversation. Depending on the number of courses served, and whether they require sauce or extra attention, a formal dinner may last 4 or 5 hours, or more. Traditionally, the main course at a formal dinner is a roast of beef, fowl, or game.

To expedite service, a combination of food is presented on the platter, such as prime rib with potatoes, asparagus, and parsley. With a nod or a comment she indicates approval or disapproval and service begins. However, the custom is followed only for the main course. Because the courses that precede and follow the main course do not include a combination of food, the approval of the hostess is not needed.

Moreover, in a club or hotel, the meat platter is not presented to the hostess for inspection; instead the job is performed by the maitre d' hotel. To absorb liquids that flow from food, vegetables that leave fluids on the bottom of a dish, such as asparagus, are served on a folded napkin. By the time the last guest ceased to eat, the table was cleared. However, the method tended to rush slow eaters, and the custom changed. Now the time to clear the course depends on the number of guests seated at the table.

At a small dinner party, plates are cleared after the last guest is finished. At a large dinner party, to expedite service, plates are cleared as soon as the majority of guests are finished. When dinner guests are seated at several tables, plates are cleared first from the tables at which the host and hostess are seated as these tables are where the honored guests are seated. To speed service at a banquet, plates are cleared as soon as two or three diners at a table are finished.

However, at a large affair, to speed clearance one butler may carry a soiled plate to a sideboard, for another to take to the kitchen. Before dessert is served the table is cleared of everything unrelated to the dessert course, starting with the largest items and working to the smallest, namely plates, stemware, flatware, and small sets of salt and pepper.

Although large articles are cleared one in each hand, to expedite service small items are cleared on a small doily-lined tray. The doily prevents slippage on the tray and reduces the noise level in the room. The purpose of the doily is to keep the tableware from slipping and to absorb oils from food, such as dessert presented on a plate. Linen doilies are used in formal dining and paper doilies at informal affairs.

Because heavy ware, such as a coffee service, is unlikely to slip, a large tray is not lined with a doily. The multiple courses served at a formal dinner create crumbs. To freshen the table before dessert, the butler stands to the left of each guest and with a small thin brush or a folded napkin, brushes the crumbs onto a small plate, a tray, or a silent butler held just below the edge of the table.

Special sweets, such as fine chocolates and glaceed fruit, are presented in compotes and placed on the table as part of the table decor. The compotes remain on the table throughout the meal and are offered to the guests during dessert.

However, in the long lapse between courses, oftentimes the guests help themselves to a bite or two from the compote placed nearest to them. A formal dinner lasts for hours. To allow guests to stretch, freshen up, and regroup, demitasse , liqueurs, and brandy are served in another room.

Demitasse is a stimulant and a digestive. It is traditionally taken black. Cream is not offered because it reduces the stimulating effect, and makes coffee more of a food. However, on request, sugar is added. Demitasse is served English style or continental style. In the English method, the men and women take coffee, liqueur, and brandy in different rooms, a separation that affords a brief interlude for guests of the same gender to enjoy conversation not relevant to a mixed group, an interval of approximately 20 minutes.

The hostess leads the ladies to a separate room, such as the bedroom or the anteroom of the powder room, where a maid pours demitasse for the ladies and presents it on a small tray.

As she hands a demitasse to each lady, she asks the guest if she would care for a liqueur. If so, the maid pours the liqueur and serves it on a salver.

The gentlemen remain in the dining room for coffee, brandy, and cigars, or they move to the library. And, the more pregnant teens, with no husbands, our society produces, the more proof positive it is that the strategy is working. It was the father, unless the married woman was widowed.

Census data will verify this claim. Some of our past values need to be revisited. In addition, respect needs to be taught, and never forgotten. I believe we, as women, need to constantly take inventory regarding how we feel about our men, and what we plan to teach our children. We especially need to lead by example. When dinner is served, the protocol I have been raised to value, and will always support, is husband, father, and then child.

And, if you think otherwise, maybe it is time to take a look in the mirror, and honestly discover why. Subscribe to Minority Reporter and receive weekly editions delivered to your computer, phone or device. Delay dinner fifteen 15 minutes for a late guest. When the guest arrives, he or she is served the course that is being served at the time.

When dinner is ready to be served :. The guest of honor seated on the host's right is always served each dish first. If there is serving help, servers move around the table counter-clockwise from her, serving the host last.

A serving spoon and a large fork are put on most dishes, or the spoon alone is used if the dish is not hard to serve. With the spoon underneath, the fork is held with the prongs turned down to hold and balance the portion when both utensils are used. At a more casual dinner party ,. Since any of these procedures can take time, the host or hostess should insist that guests start eating after three or four people have been served.

Except at formal dinners, bread and other condiments are usually passed around the table by the guests themselves. Dishes are passed counter-clockwise to the right and should be passed in the same direction.

A guest helps himself to the bread basket with his fingers and lays the roll or bread on his butter plate. If there is a choice of two or three sauces or other condiments, placing them together in a divided dish, or on a small, easily managed tray, ensures that they are passed together. If you have a sideboard or serving table, use it as a halfway station between the dinner table and the kitchen.

On it you can have plates for the next course and extra flatware. Serving dishes, after being passed, can be left on the serving table on a warming tray or taken to the kitchen and kept warm on the stove. When you see that guests are ready for another portion, get up, get the serving bowl and pass it around. Dessert may be served already placed on individual dessert plates, or the hostess may serve it at the table. When the table is cleared, dishes are removed two at a time, never stacked.

Salt-and-pepper containers and condiment dishes are cleared also. To accelerate the clearing process, bring back dessert plates, or whatever is needed for the next course, when you return from the kitchen. Or have a friend serve the dessert while you finish clearing. This would infer that she is actually seated at the table, not running around adding last minute touches to the meal.

Although this may seem laughable, it is the most respectful thing to do because she is likely the oldest woman at the table. As with all manners, it is a matter of respect and courtesy to let the guests go first and if there are no guests, I think it is a great way to show appreciation to mom.

This sends the message to our kids that we respect ourselves and that no matter how hungry they are, they can learn to wait another chance to practice delayed gratification! My mom was always the last one to sit down and the last one to eat.