Is it normal for men to pull away

Yet he still did not want a relationship with me. Not that I kept asking for it I stopped and just accepted the way things were because I cared about him and I wanted him near me. Then he goes to work with family in a different state. Talks about how his trip was and how he met a girl and that she was his gf while he was there. He ends up leaving to work out of state again and I finally met someone new that made me feel like I mattered again.

Then boom he calls on Christmas none the less wants to see me. He showed up at my house I kicked him out feeling frustrated and mad like why? Why do you keep coming back to me? A year goes by and Things got complicated with my man. I fell in love with this new man and he broke my heart. So I did something stupid and decided to let the old one back in.

I told him what was up and that I loved this other man and that I just need someone near me. Hanging out having sex sleeping together. I have no idea what he wants or is thinking like why does he always come back to me. Does he like me does he not? Why am I not good enough for him to be in a relationship with me? Thank you for this. So very much. I just ended a 12yr relationship he cheated and I started dating. I realized I still need healing time. You still need time to heal and love yourself.

This was a great article. Even though i knew all these things you put into proper perspective. I can clearly see how i made my mistakes and the red flags i should have responded to differently. This is truth. Hi Anji. Wishing you the best, Apollonia. What a wonderful article. I agreed to date him because his marriage is in a bad place his wife was cheating on him for the past 8 months and they argue all the time.

However, he showered me with affection. And now I feel him pull away. Thank you again for your great article. I have been dating someone for a year now, it started out great in the beginning. Very open, comfortable and trusting.

I do agree that we moved fast but I felt we were both going where things were leading us and we were on the same page. Then BAM things changed.. I know a huge reason why he is going through a divorce. I did leave but then I went back, sometimes I wonder if I should have. Things have gotten better and we have gotten closer but his ex wont let up and he is mentally exhausted and stressed and pulls away and keeps to himself when he is in his head.

He is a good person and he tells me I am helping him be a better man but is sometimes confusing with his actions? He said I want you, I see my life with you but I need more of you. He can be a very difficult person but so lovely and caring. We have fun, laugh and enjoy a lot of the same things. I guess my question is, how do I make him understand my feelings as well as being there for him?

He says when he gets like this stuck in his head to leave him be for a bit. He barely talks to me and it definitely pushes me away. I just want to be able to understand him and his needs when he is in a funk or should I hive him the space and do me? Hii good afternoon… I have a situation at hand and I need help! So something happened I thought he was ignoring me so I uploaded a male friends photo just to get his attention and get him jealous…. Please help me, I need advice now!!

This guy broke my heart. We met on a Friday night in Then we started having a casual relationship then I told him I was falling for him. At that point I found out he has a gf. Anyway fast forward a couple years later they got engaged and he never told me. I grew tired and locked him off. Just probably wanted to apologize for what he did. My question is; now that he came back. Should I even remain being friends with him? I just wanted to say that you are exactly right about men. They love the thrill of the chase.

It explains the same results as you have. Thank you for posting this. I hope all the women who read this take it to heart and know that they deserve to be treated special and with respect.

I am very confused. I met a man about two months ago. We work for employers who work closely. After spending about an hour talking and working together, he started coming to chat with me for 15 minutes about twice per week. I started to kinda joke around with him during our chats just before he was taking a vacation to go home for two weeks.

While he was gone, I thought of things to chat with him about when he got back. However, it has been three weeks since he returned to work and he has yet to come and talk to me.

He pulled up alongside me in his vehicle once and smiled and waved, after I asked a mutual co-worker about his whereabouts. Yet, he has yet to come and talk to me again. Was it something that I said before he left for vacation? Did I smell sweaty one day? I thought that he was the one that I had been looking for. We are both middle-aged, so, it seems like the games should be behind us.

If he really wanted to talk to me, he would have gotten out of his vehicle and talked to me, right? Or should I have gotten out in the rain and talked to him? Why pull up beside me and wave and smile but not talk to me? Hi, thank you for taking the time to read Why Men Pull Away. It sounds like you might have put him on a pedestal and maybe became too available for him. Meaning wanting his attention more and being over the top, instead of just yourself. He also just might not be the guy for you.

I would suggest pulling back and just dating other guys and keeping it really casual with him. Guys like to chase. All you have to do is just focus on your life and your goals.

He started messaging me we inly went out a few times and then he was asking me to stay at his house all the time. I never went chasing after him i used to wait until he messaged me. About a week ago the messages he was sending me started to change when i asked him if we were alright he said yes. Hey Louise. You might not have messaged him first, but you still might have been too available. This guy also sounds like he could be a narcissist or even a love addict.

Learn from this one about how you want to be and pat yourself on the back… you did great. Then he said if you feel uncomfortable leave he wasted to much time in a relationship and he trying to get back to his self. Need input n what should I do. Thank you for reading Why Men Pull Away. This guy does not sound like he is capable of showing up for you. And it sounds like he walked away when you really needed him. I would look at defining what your boundaries are for yourself.

If you want someone that is there for you and available… this is not the guy. I would pull back and focus on yourself. Your own life. Focus on your friends and your hobbies, what areas of your life need more work?

Focus on those. He is giving a lot of red flags. I would see if this is a pattern in your relationships… guys not being available or being emotionally immature, then I would look at see where you might be missing the red flags when you first started to date them. This is on YOU to do. I started to ask him are you bored of me? Are you bored of me? He did want to hang out with me after we saw each other last but he did give me a good night kiss freely do you think he is interested?

He is gonna txt me when he comes back to talk about this relationship and we continue to predate or date. Hi Lina. I would really recommend pulling back for yourself and falling more in love with yourself. You can still date this person. Let go of the past. See where you can learn from your mistakes and grow.

Wishing you the best Apollonia. Thank you for this article. I have been dating a man for 3 weeks and at first it was going really well, he even said his feeling have taken a turn in a good way but then he seemed to pull back.. Am I doing the right thing? This man is different from others I have dated. Any advice you could give would be greatly appreciated! Staying busy is what am trying to do to keep myself off of thinking of him but I can not tell that it is an easy task especially that this guy has everything I love in a man..

Wow this article is just what I was looking for. I have been dating this guy for 5 months now, we first met in April last year but I never gave him any shance until August then we started going out.

We went for 3 dates night out then we started staying home at my flat. He keeps cancelling our plan and meeting in the last minute and always change his mind. He never takes me out, on a date or dinner at all, he always makes excuses when I ask him to pick me up or drop me off he always says to me that I need to learn how to drive.

When we first went out he told me that he used to date a women who got pregnant for him and moved in together in the same house. After she had a miscarrage things did not workout again between them and they have to be separated. After he noticed that I was taking the pills, he started sleeping with me using condoms. After I stopped taking the pills we went back to having normal sex without using condoms or any other form of contraception.

A month later I got pregnant. He them went on sleeping with me using condom again. By this time I was already feelinv sick and getting pregnancy symptoms. But I was still worried. I went to the surgery that day and had a pregnancy test which came up positive. That same day after work I tried to call him but he refused to pick up, he rejected my call and turned his phone off.

I had no choice so I had to text him about the pregnancy result, so he then replied very happy and excited about this news. On new year eve we planed to go to Church together, but that evening when I got back from work I tried to call him but he was so angry at me, so I have to leave him and went to my church alone while we made a plan to go to his church.

The next day on new year day he called me like about 10 and wanted to come to me that afternoon but I told him to come in the evening because I was sleeping. After they called him about his business he just left me and promised to come back and should call him if I needed anything.

I felt so sad about this I tought he loved me, and I am pregnant. I tried to call him in the afternoon and he was like he left home late to work so this is why.

But it went on like that all week. He stopped calling again or texting. Sunday morning he called me at and I asked him but he was telling me that he went to a birthday party. He left my house upset without looking back. Will I still look sexy and beautiful like I am now? Will he be enterested in me after my vagina becomes loose when I give birth?

Thank you for the article! When we do i just love being with him and he always tells me the same thing. He has told me he loves me and i have told him also.

I wold say probably the last 6 months the texts are pretty intense! He was always texting me and telling all the things i love to hear. Lately though he seems to be distancing him self it seems. I know right now he is going through somethings, not being happy at home and he is having finical troubles and a few health issues. Could this be why he is all over the place? When i do say Love you, he does say it back. Am I overthinking things maybe?? Some days I fell like i just want to say all this is too much but I do love him and i do believe he loves me.

What do think? Hi, I am really confused about a man I have started getting close a while ago while I was ending my 3,5 years relationship with my ex boyfriend. We started chatting everyday, starting meeting up for coffee between work breaks, started making excuses to see each other even for short periods of time throughout the day. We kept talking, and one day he started to pull away all this happened in a month He went from wanting to see me every single day and wanting to talk to me from every single moment to not showing any interest in any of that.

We still kept in touch somewhat but it was barely anything and at a point I got upset with him and went off on him about it…We were still chatting here and there with my efforts and I was officially single by then We ended up meeting about a week or so later.

Once I read your article I found some relative things that made me think of his reasoning. Hey Sara it sounds like these guys are emotionally unavailable.

I would suggest writing out all of the red flags from these guys that you might have missed and realize that you have a choice now. You no longer have to talk to these guys. Thank you for writing this. We had an off the record relationship for about a year right before he met his wife got married and had two kids. We recently reconnected after they separated. A little while and the relationship got serious and he was all in.

I knew in my gut something was going on then I confronted him about it and he admitted to going on dating apps. He said he wanted more space and I reluctantly agreed. He called and texted for about a week after but then eventually fizzled out. However now here we are about a week later and he is starting to display the same behaviors avoidance shadiness and pretty much everything that could make a woman feel insecure.

Either I go all in and trust him blindly in order to give him a true chance or break it off before I get hurt again. Also came to find out that when we were still together aside from the dating apps he was messaging multiple women that were on his Instagram that made me suspicious.

I guess instincts are there for a reason. Hey Maxine. He is escaping and looking for validation outside of himself. I think trust your gut. It really seems spot on. We have to give someone space though for them to work on themselves. Maybe he can go to therapy. Stick to your values and boundaries. Either he goes to therapy or you guys take a break for 30 days while he works on his issues and learns how to love himself and bring a better man into the relationship.

Hi everyone. I have a question There was a boy started becoming friend with me. He had a gf and we were just friends who talked about everything. I told myself maybe he was not smelling my hair. He was not the guy I knew before and whenever i talked to him or I texted first he acted like something that made me feel bad and humiliated. It is important to understand your emotions and discover your interests and know yourself better overall.

Best of luck with everything and please continue to watch our videos, We have amazing, valuable content available to all of you in our youtube channel, podcast, etc. Hi Apollonia. I broke up with my boyfriend a few weeks ago but we still live together due to being on the same lease. He wants me to give him time and not rush things. How do I handle this while living with him? We are on the same lease. Hey Katie. During this time, focus on you.

Your happiness comes from inside of you, not on someone else. These books will help so much with getting to the bottom of it and making those changes!! You can do this! Thanks for the article! He texts me every morning. My ex boyfriend of 4. As foolish as it may seem I find myself still having strong feelings for him. We have a son together and he has two other children from previous relationships.. He would always paint a picture of what our future would be but there was never any action to follow through.

I never understood why he started to pull away and why after 4. Does that mean he never loved me and it was all an act? Hey Linda. But no, it does not mean your relationship was a lie. He loved you. Focus on yourself. On your sons. On finding happiness from inside of you and fulfilling YOUR life. Keep finding the things that inspire you and make you fall in love with yourself. I am with a wonderful guy who it seems to me is pulling away. Two daughters, one 11 and the other 22, same mom.

Just came out of a 25 year marriage, 10 of which were not good at all. So I get his reservations and caution. But the whole nine yards of red carpet were rolled out for me. We are in our 3rd year of an exclusive relationship. But I want more. I want commitment. And movement forward. I promised myself I would not compromise those. But here I am. Feeling like a second-class citizen. This is an amazing article. Also, you are so considerate! I appreciate that you take the time to respond to every comment.

I would like some advice. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years. I know that he loves me deeply, and I him. He has a hard time dealing with his insecurities. I truly believe that he consciously means no harm.

And I acquiesced. One of the hardest things for me is that he is very resistant to coming around my family, and I am extremely family-oriented. I really do adore him. And also, do I need what I tell myself I need? Where did I get these ideas from? Maybe I should open my mind and be more accepting…are these my thoughts? His thoughts? Our thoughts? Please, lay it on me. I have been dating a guy for 1 and a half month now. He is sensitive, sweet and loves to cuddle etc.

I can tell you that he was in a 4 year relationship with with ex and they broke up in June last month. He has been so head over heels for me and he even told me after the first three weeks that he is developing strong feelings for me. Always when we meet he says he has missed me so much and he hugs me etc.

But these two weeks he has changed. He is so distant for two weeks! Especially this week. Everything was so nice.

He seems not nervous anymore. Why is he likes this and what should I do? There is a BIG change in him. Something is missing. He should feel happy like he felt in the beginning right? Hey Anna. Thank you for commenting on Why Men Pull Away. So it is not your job to fix someone or be their whole world or make them happy or be their whole sense of happiness… this is considered codependency … needing to be needed so that you feel a sense of security.

These things have nothing to do with you. I have a codependency product out I think would be great for you! I have been dating a guy that I adore for about 4 months. He was married before and had been separated from his ex for about a year but still finalizing divorce.

About two months ago he asked me officially to be his girlfriend, of course I said yes. So I guess he was trying to win me over.

We have spent a lot more time together, sometimes with his daughter as well. He is very welcoming. He acts with a lot of affection one moment and feels distant the next. Just because of all the comments he has been making recently. This morning I brought it up again and told him that he knows and knew from the beginning when we met that I one day want marriage and a family.

And then he was all for it. Ow he is changing his tune. But he still does not want to see me. He made it clear that he has shut his emotions off and probably will not love me or fall in love with me for a very long time.

But he likes me a lot and wants to spend time with me and wants to get to know me beter before he opens his heart. I on the other hand. I Am already falling for him. I want to know if I should let him go now or just give him time to open up. Should I pull away a little or should I talk to him about it again. We are both trying to protect ourselves I think. I feel awful for even bringing up the conversation like I ruined it. I also cried. I feel embarrassed. He is wonderful in every other way.

He is If that matters. He is generally easy to talk to but I always feel stupid for taking about my things that matter to me. Thanks for your time.

Please help me. I was dating with man for 3 month. He have been single for 5 years. I am married and have two children. But my marriage is broken long time ago. I was thinking about divorce for the last ten years but still living with him as was not enough brave to go away with two children.

Then I met him. He invited me for coffee and our story began. He knew from the first day about my marriage and two kids. We were meeting each other every single day for few times for few hour. He was planning the future with me. He wanted a baby from me and to live together,to marry me. He have never been married before but had a partner for 10 years and has a daughter.

Our relationship was beautiful at the begining. Then after a month we started to fight without big reasons for me there were no reasons at all. And every time when we had a little fight or misundestanding he made it a big bubble,a big fight and always blamed me for this. That I do not respect him and etc. Or he might call upon his male friends to indulge in some stereotypically male-dominated pastimes such as sports, video games, or to have a beer or two. If the relationship is still in its early stages, he may not feel able or willing to confide in you.

He may worry that these things would simply scare you away or make you doubt the long term prospects for the relationship. In fact, the more serious things get between you, the more he begins to doubt himself as a worthy partner and lover.

If he began to withdraw soon after you made your feelings for him clear, this could be the reason. Before you came along, he was presumably single for a least a little while, and possibly a long while.

Whether or not he actually enjoyed being single, he identified with it and knew how to live his life as that person. He had routines and hobbies and people that he used to see all the time. He might have mistaken lust for love. If he has a lot of other big time commitments that he is simply not willing or able to drop, he might not feel able to fit a relationship with you into the mix. This is probably only a possible reason in relationships that are fairly new, but he might just not be as interested as you think.

That might be hard to hear, but many men are not great when it comes to communicating their true feelings during the dating phase. As much as this article can help you identify why your man is withdrawing and offer some advice on how to deal with that, yours and his circumstances are unique.

But where can you go to speak to someone? Well, the online sessions provided by Relationship Hero are a good option for many. You can chat online, via phone, or via video to an expert in these matters who can listen to you and offer specific approaches to try. Click here to chat to someone now.

Honestly… you need to give him space. None of the reasons above are solved by you trying to pull him back and insisting that you spend more time together. He may not be fully aware of why, but to fight against this instinct risks conflict that might make things worse and might not be necessary.

It means being respectful of his need to be apart from you. His mind might be full of thoughts and uncertainty, but he will probably still like it if you check in with him from time to time. As hard as it can be when you are really keen on him, you have to respect that people process things in different ways. As for seeing each other, you can still suggest meeting up, but pitch it in such a way as to make it sound flexible. This gives him the opportunity to choose a day that suits him best rather than feel pressured into doing a certain day.

This keeps him close and reminds him that you care without putting any great demands on him to be vulnerable. This takes the intensity down a notch while guaranteeing him some of his weekend to do whatever he wants.

Go to the gym and get those endorphins flowing. Spend more time having fun with your friends. Try new things. Social media can be an incredible tool for presenting yourself in a positive light — just be sure the light you're presenting yourself in is authentic. You need to be a challenge. Instead of obsessing on why he doesn't seem as interested as he did, make sure he sees images of you and how life with you could be that make you practically impossible for him to resist.

By the way, this isn't something you should stop doing once your relationship gets back on track. The way to make a man fall in love and stay in love with you is by maintaining a fantastic life he longs to be part of. Men who pull away aren't used to being called out on this type of behavior. In fact, no one is. Ending your message like this would put all the power back in his hands. You want to assert yourself with him while also reminding yourself that you are in control of what happens in your own life.

So be careful with your wording and make sure not to phrase things in a way that gives away your power. Men, just like women, find the opposite of clingy behavior extremely attractive. The more he pulls away, the closer you'll want to get. When your last twenty text messages and phone calls were left on read or unanswered, you'll want to keep trying until you finally get a response.

It's understandable that his distance feels so incredibly frustrating. Give him space and avoid initiating conversations for a while. If you want the chance to get the ball rolling on a relationship with him again, avoid making this common mistake.

But nobody wants to talk to someone who makes them feel suffocated. Let some time pass before reaching out again whether through call or text. Focus on yourself right now.